The world was all before them, where to choose
Their place of rest, and Providence their guide:
They hand in hand with wand’ring steps and slow,
Through Eden took their solitary way.
– Milton, Paradise Lost
Dear Eve,
Many moons have passed
since that first day
we left the garden
with our heads hung low
and our shadows cast.
Remember how hot it was?
how thirsty we were,
how far we walked to find water and shade.
Remember that first night?
how dark it was,
how scared we were,
how naked we felt in our leaves.
And that first winter?
with its reluctant sun
and thickening night,
how we hugged to keep each other warm.
Many winters have passed and with each
I’m getting slower, and smaller.
We’ve been through much,
and I know it wasn’t easy for you.
I still regret the way I treated you
when he yelled at us
for eating his fruit.
I knew you needed
my sympathy and support
but I called you stupid
and you cried.
I wish I had held you instead
and kissed your head and told you
it would all be fine.
I wish I could have stood up to him.
I wish we had taken a whole basket of that fruit.
I remember the first time
your belly swelled.
I was nervous because
you screamed and screamed
and I thought I would lose you
and be alone,
but a child was born.
And he drank from your breast
and he clung to your skirt
and we learned life.
I know it was hard
when we lost Abel,
and we lost Cain,
and we learned death.
For the longest time
you wouldn’t eat, or talk, or touch.
But we’ve had good times too.
Remember that first spring?
the way it smelled,
the way we felt,
as if we’d never left
that long-forgotten place.
Remember the time we drank
from the vine we grew
on the trellis in the back?
You laughed because my eyes turned red
and my teeth turned blue.
That was the night I discovered you,
the night I smelled you and tasted you.
I realized how you squint when I kiss you,
and blush when I watch you.
That night I found your nape
and the curves of your waist,
and those two dimples
low on your back.
And you showed me the things a woman can do.
It has ceased to be that way
with me and you
for a long time now—I know.
But when I look at you,
with your gray hair and wrinkled smile,
I still see that wide-eyed girl
trying to cover herself with leaves.
As we reach the autumn of our lives
there is nothing I want more
than to sit by your side
and hold your hand
and listen to your voice.
My beautiful Eve,
my love, my life,
I thank you for giving meaning
to my mortality.
*
From the collection Uzunburun, Pen & Anvil 2011.
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